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Post by SGNLS on Jul 1, 2006 19:26:54 GMT 12
Coming out of the closet is a subject close to the heart of every gay/bi person. Who do you tell? How do you break it to your family? In most cases its an extremely difficult thing to do.
Have you come out of the closet? Do you have a story to tell or questions to ask?
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Post by maidenofthesouth on Jul 2, 2006 15:08:04 GMT 12
I'm partially out. I'm not out to my family or close straight friends, but I am out to gay friends.
I also was pushed into outing myself at work to the boss and a couple of workmates, one of which is a bit uneasy about it, but the others are ok. I did know beforehand what their thoughts of gay people were.
I think my parents know I'm gay, but they don't want to me to confirm it and they don't want to know anything about it. My mother has made that clear.
In the past year or so I've made an effort to get to know more gay people in the area, and thats helped me feel better about myself. I'm more comfortable around my gay friends than my straight ones, so I'm spending more time with them now.
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Post by filenko on Jul 8, 2006 9:22:29 GMT 12
Coming out is a personal thing. Very often it's a nightmare and I suggest always having a room ready for the night if you're about to tell parents!! We can't blame parents for reacting badly - it's not really what they had planned but at the same time they could have asked!!! I was bloody lucky as after she got use to the idea, mum became a good friend but I have many friends that lost all contact with their family. I was advised that the best place to come out is a family wedding - it removes parents fears! They can never say, "What will Aunt Betty say if she finds out" Too late! Everyone knows.
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eba
New Member
Flight of the gay Kiwi
Posts: 18
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Post by eba on Nov 10, 2006 22:45:03 GMT 12
For me coming out was rather different. I didn't need to. I was 19 or 20 and working at a youth centre here in Invercargill (Tha Crib).
Young people there would at the times question my orientation and I will admit that during that period of adjusting myself to a new town, being "allowed" to be myself without fear and all the like lead me to inadvertently looking at some of the Young People that went there - that's to say that Tha Crib allowed up to 18 year olds.
So getting involved in the youth area and talking openly I felt weird not being able to accept myself that I was gay, and because of that acceptance I was for a while saying I wasn't gay. The fear of saying 'yes' and being labelled something else entirely was a reaction I didn't want to face so I would always answer in a defensive "NO".
After being asked many more times after the first adjusting period, and the question not coming from a 'hate' or a negitive background, I decided to say "yes", I felt as if it came out like it wasn't anything different - but it also felt like it was someone else saying it - still ready to say "Got-ya" if the situation turned bad.
I'm glad to say it didn't. I'm glad to say there was never a time I met any young person their that had any negitive reactions to me saying it or being it. As for my boss, well the last time they directly asked me I was still saying no, they never asked me I never told, but I'm sure they know now.
After that, there was no question of "should I say that I'm gay?" it was "Hey I'm gay - get used to it." That got in peoples faces and here in Invercargill has got me in trouble only twice - or at least trouble that I am aware of ;-). Nothing really hateful just "scared" of the unknown. In fact it became a joke, it was like it was fully accepted and was cool to be okay.
Before Invercargill, life was anything but fair, but I try and stay happy and think that Invercargill is the place I would loved to have called home when I was growing up.
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Post by rattled on Dec 3, 2006 15:18:20 GMT 12
well i have to give you guy credit coming out in invercargill doesn't seem like a bunch of laughs.
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Post by sexybum on Aug 7, 2007 13:55:07 GMT 12
Well i never knew or thought i was ever gay. yes i was fasinated with other girls breasts, in fact when i got married i had a breast themed hens night.
but i got married to a great guy then ened up falling for a friend who i knew was gay. after a few months we decided to give it a real go so i left my husband and kinda went into hiding for a coulpe of months with my new partner, only leaving home for work.
as i was doing this my ex husband had gone and told every person i know about my new partner. including my parents, family, friends, work mates, boss, everyone.
i was really lucky as i didnt have to kind of come out so to speak. i only had 2 or 3 bad reactions and from so called friends but that was because i was married. but other than that everything has been fine. No one was really surprized when they heard or were told.
i am still with my partner 8 months later and everyone has been great at accepting both us and our realtionship.
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Post by hoorah on Nov 3, 2007 14:18:14 GMT 12
hey people im 16 and i wanna come out to my parents but i dunno how to do it and i think they already know when my cousin came out it was fine but that doesnt help me... how can i come out to my parents??
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eba
New Member
Flight of the gay Kiwi
Posts: 18
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Post by eba on Nov 27, 2007 22:41:44 GMT 12
hoorah:
Coming out to your parents can be rather scary at any age! At a younger age however, I think the best way to do it, could be having a friend that knows you are okay, and understands that not everyone has that view. Then sitting down with your parents, and then just spring it on them with your friend there.
The reason I say this is because if your parents do react badly they can pull you out of that situation fast, or if it goes well can be there to celebrate with you. If you feel you don't want to use this method, being direct about it can work as well, or simply writing them a letter if you can't put it into words in front of them.
"Dear mum and dad, Your son is gay, I hope you still love me." Sorry use your words is always best lol.
If you find a way to do this, I wish you the best of luck! Let us know how it goes.
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