Post by eba on Dec 15, 2006 5:34:48 GMT 12
My mother (as much as I wish I could exchange her) has always been some sort of key in my life.
Because of sexual abuse in my past, my mother has been constantly stressing about her 'pride and joy' son being gay, homosexual, 'one of them'.
So of course I knew that the answer I would give her is "No mother I'm not gay" when I was a teenager.
Of course whenever the question was asked it was followed with the speech of "Just because that happened to you and just because it was a male, doesn't make you gay Eba...." (LOL no but wanting to explore a males body does mother...[of course never was said]).
So anyways skip a lot of years till I was around 20, I started saying I was bisexual for my mother benefit to give her at least a false hope that her son might fall in love with this female and marry and have 4.5 children.
Even letting her see my desktop wallpapers I make sometimes with male content that was rather 'gay' in visual appearance wasn't enough.
Well last week that changed.
My mum sort of asked me this time because it seemed she was ready for the truth. She asked without the "Because of your past...." method she used to use, and I simply answered "yes".
Her reaction I can not say, I do not know what it was and as scared as I am right this moment (I will never admit I said that!) I don't want to even know what she thinks about HER son being gay.
Not a friend of her straight son, HER son being gay. Who knows if this means I am accepted by her. But she hasn't hit me, screamed at me, condemned me to hell (Although I would pull the mat from under her if she pulled that one on me! [yes I can be evil]) and surprising she didn't storm out of the room slamming the door behind her.
There's still a way to go before I think I can bring myself to bring a guy over and actually say he is a boyfriend (not that I have one ) but I have no qualms now about bringing home a guy for friendship at least in front of her......
Because of sexual abuse in my past, my mother has been constantly stressing about her 'pride and joy' son being gay, homosexual, 'one of them'.
So of course I knew that the answer I would give her is "No mother I'm not gay" when I was a teenager.
Of course whenever the question was asked it was followed with the speech of "Just because that happened to you and just because it was a male, doesn't make you gay Eba...." (LOL no but wanting to explore a males body does mother...[of course never was said]).
So anyways skip a lot of years till I was around 20, I started saying I was bisexual for my mother benefit to give her at least a false hope that her son might fall in love with this female and marry and have 4.5 children.
Even letting her see my desktop wallpapers I make sometimes with male content that was rather 'gay' in visual appearance wasn't enough.
Well last week that changed.
My mum sort of asked me this time because it seemed she was ready for the truth. She asked without the "Because of your past...." method she used to use, and I simply answered "yes".
Her reaction I can not say, I do not know what it was and as scared as I am right this moment (I will never admit I said that!) I don't want to even know what she thinks about HER son being gay.
Not a friend of her straight son, HER son being gay. Who knows if this means I am accepted by her. But she hasn't hit me, screamed at me, condemned me to hell (Although I would pull the mat from under her if she pulled that one on me! [yes I can be evil]) and surprising she didn't storm out of the room slamming the door behind her.
There's still a way to go before I think I can bring myself to bring a guy over and actually say he is a boyfriend (not that I have one ) but I have no qualms now about bringing home a guy for friendship at least in front of her......