Post by eba on Feb 22, 2007 16:03:56 GMT 12
This article (posted with permission) from the GayNZ.com forum boards below comes from the Southland Times article provided about the "Southland Pride Picnic" on the 10 February.
Below is the full post from GayNZ.com, in which "makersten" provided to the community over there.
I just got emailed this story, marked OK for publication. It's a reply to an article from GayNZ.com and also the Southland Times last week:
www.gaynz.com/news/default.asp?apage=5&dismode=article&artid=4341
Matt x
Phil McGrath writes:
Hey there,
I noticed that you ran an item on the inaugural pride picnic in Invercargill last week... it was better written than the orginal copy I read in the online version of the southland times... but what that article did was finally force me to tell my story, I'm an ex-southlander and was forced to leave invercargill.
Please find enclosed, for what its worth, the original copy sent as a letter to the editor of the Southland Times, I don't believe it was ever printed.
Cheers,
Phil McGrath
Letter to the editor in reaction to article "Local Group Seeks Acceptance" - Sld Times 12/02/2007
I was intrigued to read your article headlined “Local Group Seeks Acceptance” in your Monday 12 February 2007 edition.
Mentioned in the article was a comment about people who have been driven away from Southland. I am one of those people who were forced to leave Invercargill to due homophobic community attitudes in the 1990’s.
I came out at the age of 15 in 1997. From then until the day I left my world was surrounded by rumour, insult, assault and insecurity. I found myself the victim of bullying in my school, of which the teaching staff appeared powerless or impotent to combat. Understandably my coming out created a rift within the church community I was involved in, as the church itself grapples with its own view of sexuality. I was subjected to harassment in the workplace and abuse in the street. Most amazing of all, however, was my being a dinner-time gossip subject. Prior to leaving Invercargill, while at dinner with friends, I was asked if I was comfortable with so many people talking about me, up until that point this was something unknown to me. In the 8 years following my departure from Southland I have met numerous other ex-Southlanders who validated the claims of my friends and had admitted to discussing me or my situation without my knowledge. I hasten to add, that this was something I was brought up to not do.
In the two years between my coming-out and my leaving Invercargill, my mental state was one of survival. I worked extremely hard during my final years of high school to ensure my passage out of Invercargill was secured. An equivalent course was available at the then Southland Polytechnic, however I took the higher cost of living and course options at the New Zealand Broadcasting School in Christchurch to pursue a career in journalism and writing, in order to get away from the homophobic actions directed towards me. Upon completion of those tertiary studies however I continued to work hard (to a point of overwork), and upon reflection I see that it was a form of punishment. The harassment and discrimination I had felt directly, and the revelation that I was the subject of wide gossip had deteriorated my self-image to the point where all I could see myself as was an employee and nothing else. I punished myself for allowing all of that to happen, and not being able to seek a resolution.
The most frustrating part of my story is that during the time of my coming-out and subsequent harassment was a time of high suicide rates in Southland. I was a prime candidate for suicide (I already knew of two suicides during that period undertaken due to sexuality issues) and despite young people taking their own lives as a result of bullying and harassment 1) I couldn’t find any counselling or support services and 2) the harassment towards me continued.
In the weeks prior to my departure from Invercargill I was awarded blues awards from my high school as well as a Youthmark achievement award for my work in local broadcasting. This recognition frankly bemused me, as I lived in a community and attended a high school where harassment and abuse was allowed and I was not being supported in efforts to stop it, and yet I was recognised for my contributions to both communities. The message I was being sent by my school and community was that my sort wasn’t welcome, but due to a job well done, the basic right to peace wasn’t available to me but have a certificate anyway. I couldn’t even earn dignity in Invercargill.
Despite the deficit my story is founded on, I have never abused drugs or alcohol and have never been involved in any acts of indecency. I am now aged 25, and have built a good set of skills from my former career as a broadcaster and journalist, and am now applying those in the field of communications with a challenging and exciting position in the public sector.
However, my experiences from living and leaving the south have created within me a strong scepticism of other people which has taken a lot of overcoming. As previously mentioned, my self-image took a large battering and I have yet to fully recover. Those experiences however have also shown me the high level of courage and integrity I possess as well as an understanding and empathy for views that differ hugely from my own. I consider myself one of the very lucky ones.
My story would have sounded much sexier had it contained drug and alcohol abuse as well as prostitution and hero-parade fabulousness, however I am still proud of my progress and humbled at the support shown to me almost overwhelmingly outside of Southland. I am also thankful to the small community, all of whom heterosexual people in Invercargill who rallied around me at one particular point around a year after I came-out.
Should the GLBT communities of Southland really ASK for acceptance? There is very little to deny. At the end of the day we are all humans, we are all subject to the same laws and taxes and we all have the basic equal opportunity to contribute towards a positive society.
I have not visited Invercargill since 2002, due to the pain involved I find it hard to relate to it as my home-town and it is likely I will not be making many trips to the south in the future. As I seek to continue repairing the pain of my past, the only thing I hope that comes as a result of my story is that there will never be another one like it.
Phil McGrath
Former Youth Radio Announcer, Radio Southland
Former Youth TV Presenter, Mercury TV
Below is the full post from GayNZ.com, in which "makersten" provided to the community over there.
I just got emailed this story, marked OK for publication. It's a reply to an article from GayNZ.com and also the Southland Times last week:
www.gaynz.com/news/default.asp?apage=5&dismode=article&artid=4341
Matt x
Phil McGrath writes:
Hey there,
I noticed that you ran an item on the inaugural pride picnic in Invercargill last week... it was better written than the orginal copy I read in the online version of the southland times... but what that article did was finally force me to tell my story, I'm an ex-southlander and was forced to leave invercargill.
Please find enclosed, for what its worth, the original copy sent as a letter to the editor of the Southland Times, I don't believe it was ever printed.
Cheers,
Phil McGrath
Letter to the editor in reaction to article "Local Group Seeks Acceptance" - Sld Times 12/02/2007
I was intrigued to read your article headlined “Local Group Seeks Acceptance” in your Monday 12 February 2007 edition.
Mentioned in the article was a comment about people who have been driven away from Southland. I am one of those people who were forced to leave Invercargill to due homophobic community attitudes in the 1990’s.
I came out at the age of 15 in 1997. From then until the day I left my world was surrounded by rumour, insult, assault and insecurity. I found myself the victim of bullying in my school, of which the teaching staff appeared powerless or impotent to combat. Understandably my coming out created a rift within the church community I was involved in, as the church itself grapples with its own view of sexuality. I was subjected to harassment in the workplace and abuse in the street. Most amazing of all, however, was my being a dinner-time gossip subject. Prior to leaving Invercargill, while at dinner with friends, I was asked if I was comfortable with so many people talking about me, up until that point this was something unknown to me. In the 8 years following my departure from Southland I have met numerous other ex-Southlanders who validated the claims of my friends and had admitted to discussing me or my situation without my knowledge. I hasten to add, that this was something I was brought up to not do.
In the two years between my coming-out and my leaving Invercargill, my mental state was one of survival. I worked extremely hard during my final years of high school to ensure my passage out of Invercargill was secured. An equivalent course was available at the then Southland Polytechnic, however I took the higher cost of living and course options at the New Zealand Broadcasting School in Christchurch to pursue a career in journalism and writing, in order to get away from the homophobic actions directed towards me. Upon completion of those tertiary studies however I continued to work hard (to a point of overwork), and upon reflection I see that it was a form of punishment. The harassment and discrimination I had felt directly, and the revelation that I was the subject of wide gossip had deteriorated my self-image to the point where all I could see myself as was an employee and nothing else. I punished myself for allowing all of that to happen, and not being able to seek a resolution.
The most frustrating part of my story is that during the time of my coming-out and subsequent harassment was a time of high suicide rates in Southland. I was a prime candidate for suicide (I already knew of two suicides during that period undertaken due to sexuality issues) and despite young people taking their own lives as a result of bullying and harassment 1) I couldn’t find any counselling or support services and 2) the harassment towards me continued.
In the weeks prior to my departure from Invercargill I was awarded blues awards from my high school as well as a Youthmark achievement award for my work in local broadcasting. This recognition frankly bemused me, as I lived in a community and attended a high school where harassment and abuse was allowed and I was not being supported in efforts to stop it, and yet I was recognised for my contributions to both communities. The message I was being sent by my school and community was that my sort wasn’t welcome, but due to a job well done, the basic right to peace wasn’t available to me but have a certificate anyway. I couldn’t even earn dignity in Invercargill.
Despite the deficit my story is founded on, I have never abused drugs or alcohol and have never been involved in any acts of indecency. I am now aged 25, and have built a good set of skills from my former career as a broadcaster and journalist, and am now applying those in the field of communications with a challenging and exciting position in the public sector.
However, my experiences from living and leaving the south have created within me a strong scepticism of other people which has taken a lot of overcoming. As previously mentioned, my self-image took a large battering and I have yet to fully recover. Those experiences however have also shown me the high level of courage and integrity I possess as well as an understanding and empathy for views that differ hugely from my own. I consider myself one of the very lucky ones.
My story would have sounded much sexier had it contained drug and alcohol abuse as well as prostitution and hero-parade fabulousness, however I am still proud of my progress and humbled at the support shown to me almost overwhelmingly outside of Southland. I am also thankful to the small community, all of whom heterosexual people in Invercargill who rallied around me at one particular point around a year after I came-out.
Should the GLBT communities of Southland really ASK for acceptance? There is very little to deny. At the end of the day we are all humans, we are all subject to the same laws and taxes and we all have the basic equal opportunity to contribute towards a positive society.
I have not visited Invercargill since 2002, due to the pain involved I find it hard to relate to it as my home-town and it is likely I will not be making many trips to the south in the future. As I seek to continue repairing the pain of my past, the only thing I hope that comes as a result of my story is that there will never be another one like it.
Phil McGrath
Former Youth Radio Announcer, Radio Southland
Former Youth TV Presenter, Mercury TV
